Kite-Flying

                                      

We were introduced to this leisure activity in our childhood and we learnt by listening, observing and indulging in the act of flying a kite. Slowly we understood the significance of this activity- the goal of flying a kite so high that no other kite flyer comes closer to us or the happiness of chasing another’s kite until it appears to fall down. It also taught us the art of loosening the string or getting the grip tight as per our convenience- the goal remains the same!  Didn’t we learn to develop the defence moves and secure our hands with cello tape so that our fingers don’t bear the brunt of cutting more kite strings? We also understood that many times the falling kite shall be ours, yet we never stopped buying bigger and more beautiful kites. We loved it because we enjoyed the possession of fallen kites or somehow it reinforced our sense of accomplishment or perhaps it established our superiority over other kite flyers in the neighborhood. How naïve of us to say we loved flying kites when all we enjoyed was the possession and established superiority, among our competitors. We developed our own responses to losses and wins-some took into consideration that losing/winning is not exclusive to us but rather a universal phenomenon while others took a conservative approach. They approached winning and losing not as a part of the game, but as a connotation of their ‘sense of superiority’ among the competitors. They went on using lethal kite strings, unaware of the unfortunate consequences that it can cause to others- who aren’t even part of this game. Kite flying, then, didn’t remain merely a leisure activity, it failed to teach us the ability to accept loss, it didn’t persuade us to learn more efficient ways of kite flying but made us adopt toxic ways -the goal remaining the same. In a world where knowingly or unknowingly we act/speak in order to seek validation from fellow humans, it wasn’t a surprise to know how cool and trendy this toxic method had become. When this leisure activity was introduced to us, no one warned us that it can harm someone but doesn’t it? And do we stop for a moment, rethink the consequences of toxic methods to achieve a ‘sense of superiority’ or consider ‘others’ in our decision to retain or change the ways? Do we bother to think what made our parents call us downstairs after long hours of kite flying…perhaps they weren’t against our leisure but knew excess of anything can become toxic for their children; And some parents chose to let their children be, as they believed life has its own ways of teaching. None of them was wrong but we never wanted advice or ignorance, we wanted saviours, in-fact we naturally expected them to be saviours.

Now imagine if we were kites! Being curated for our expected destiny to fly high we deserved able and strong hands, who knew what they were doing. It seems our expected saviours were Kite flyers at some point in their life too- must have learnt the art of tightening and loosening the grip- goal remaining the same -a kite flies high! But does it?

Sometimes grip isn’t strong enough or hand cuts get in the way, other times it’s the toxic practices of other competitors and hence loss becomes inevitable. Yet, some people do not choose toxic ways because it’s also the job of saviours to soften the ‘superiority sense’ and cultivate the sense of consideration for others as competition for validation becomes worthless when compared to the impact of toxic winning methods.

Every kite has its own journey, surfacing the sky, soaring through tall trees and building, enjoying the favourable winds, not seeing the face of the sky when it rains, getting accustomed to string control, reposing trust in the hands of kite flyer, meeting the expectations of kite flyer and sometimes disappointing them, getting jealous of other kites which may rise above it, getting tired of flying whole day, fearing the other kite flyers…and all of it to realize someday that falling down is not an extraordinary event but a universal phenomenon. Just like soaring high is the pleasurable side of kite flying, falling down is painful but inevitable.

Having said that, it’s quite obvious that we choose to learn our lessons based on our understanding of ourselves- We may choose to disregard the universality and let it accommodate toxicity inside us or we may choose to understand the universality and it should be enough to humble us down.

And while we are still understanding the lessons, did I forget to mention that kite flying also brings us the wonder of sensing what a bird must feel up in the sky!

 

By: Mansi Walia